The Plight of a Back Yard Birder

In the world of back yard birding, you have not hit the climax of  birding, until you get the all elusive bluebird to your feeders. In this endeavor to attain the Harps playing moment, you can literately become insane! Trust me I know. I don't believe there is a trick or treat I haven't tried to get these little blue-bird winged wonders of beauties, to my yard.. My daughter and sister-in-law, on the other hand have heard the harps. They call me and post pictures, with me tagged in them, all over facebook every time they show up, which is daily it seems. They have no mercy!!  This year I started with my Christmas tree, thinking it would be a great place to hang home made suet and other treats. Mind you, I have been backyard birding for 18 years.   However one thing I have hated from childhood is cold weather and, even though I have grown up and lived in New England most of my life, I hate, hate, hate the cold. My husband Keith however, wants me to at least LIKE winter,  so in his ever determined effort he bought me a brand new pair of snow shoes for Christmas..   January 2nd came with the temperatures freezing, and me more determined then ever to win the war of obtaining the climax of backyard birders, the blue bird. So having  never in my life worn snowshoes and, since we had about a foot of fresh snow,  I headed out. I was armed with my tree in the gigantic plastic bag that now comes with fresh trees, in one hand, my trusty homemade suet  in the other and my feet adorned and my trusty new snow shoes. There I stood in the mid-minus below zero something degree weather and heavy wind. The cold hit me hard! It was so cold that all the lining in my nose and everything else in there froze instantly. I was sure I was near death from hypothermia, but I'm a Backyard birder!!  So with my head held high and determination in my freezing bones, I took my first step. BAM, down I went! I was face first in the snow! The suet went everywhere,  and landed  like victims in a white winter massacre all over my front yard.   My snow shoes had gotten tangled up and caught in the giant plastic bag that held the now former Christmas tree. The instructions said nothing about this potential hazard. So once I regained my footing, I picked up my spillage and waited for the laughter of  my son, peering out the window from  the warm and toasty house, to stop and off I went. I got the tree to stand unsupported in the snow, and then hung all the very pretty ornaments of blue-bird treats.

There it stood, in all it's glory like a piece of winter art for bluebirds. A Christmas tree and me, waiting to hear the sound of harps as a blue bird came to perch on it's glorious branches.  Two days later not a single blue bird had shown up!  So off me and my winter wonderland man went, to the tractor supply store to get more seed, suet, and anything else we could buy to arm ourselves with, that would attract these blue beauties that we already hadn't bought.  Then one hundred dollars later and every treat a bluebird could want, including nasty meal worms all dehydrated in a clear plastic container, homeward bound we headed.  The next day I was determined to make new treats to hang on my bluebird ornamental beauty Christmas tree.  However when I looked outside, it wasn't there. The blue bird Christmas tree of wonder was gone! The high winds had taken it, with all the pretty ornaments and thrown it 100 feet into the neighbors yard. I watched in horror out my window as their chickens were having a gourmet feast on all my pretty little bluebird treats. Thank the good Lord for Keith, because he headed outside and rescued it and what ornaments he could. He resurrected the tree and tied it to a post, so this catastrophe would not happen again. Imagine those chickens. They had no shame what so ever. I'll think of this the next time I eat their bluebird suet fueled eggs. Little thieves! Anyway, later that day I made more suet treats and hung them   out. That night after reading about some other things that Blue Birds liked, as if we didn't already have everything, I decided that the next morning I would head to our local Ben Franklin/Ace Hardware store where they have a great variety of bird items, and buy the things I needed. While perusing the store of birding items, I  told the sales lady of my blue bird dilemma to see if she had any suggestions. All she offered me was a, "Oh yes I gets blue birds", with no shame or compassion for me and my plight. Two gentlemen walking by heard our conversation, and with their chest  puffed up, blasted out of their ever proud  bluebird glory mouths, that they get blue birds all the time, all year long and have for years!!!!  I even think I saw blue  feathers flying around their heads as they spoke. I purchased  my goods and headed home, wounded in my backyard birding soul. I was more determined then ever to attract even one bluebird to my feeders. It was at least two weeks later and  I still hadn't seen a flash of blue, except from the bluejays that eat me out of bird-feeder and suet. 
 A few days later Keith and I decided to go and try out our snowshoes. He got a pair also. You have to understand the mind of a backyard birder. It thinks in ways that most humans don't, BIRD ATTRACTION. In my ever racing mind of how can I get blue birds, I found out they like sumac, and even though it was freezing out, for me anyway, I was super excited to head outside. I thought, I can take my clippers with us and get some Sumac plumes to bring home and THEN I will finally get bluebirds! So off we went, my brain racing with beautiful bluebird beauties in my mind and my eyes peeled for sumac. We headed east on Route 101.  We passed a huge amount of sumac at exit 8 except that it was on the west bound side.
Once we arrived at our destination, which is a Maritime native  habitat coastal area, as well as a seacoast bird sanctuary, we discovered that there wasn't enough snow left to wear our snows shoes. But we decided, and I was determined, to get some sumac so we stayed and walked in our regular boots. We walked for about 3 hours all around the trails and shore. While Keith snapped pictures, I saw all kinds of berries and sumac plumes. I collected a bunch of red berries and with my handy clippers and handy man, we trimmed some good size branches of sumac. He even thought to bring a strap to tie them up with. Then as we were cutting, he informed me that he, a retired state trooper, was NOT going to jail because we were stealing sumac from a wildlife sanctuary for some stupid bluebirds. Imagine!  But me, I had NO fear. He doesn't understand the mind and determination of a backyard birder. I took my spoils and out we headed to the car. He had me hide a few times when a car passed, just in case. We finally arrived at the car, UN-arrested or even questioned, and headed home. The next day still in my Pj's and never not thinking of how to get Bluebirds, I put on my coat, my hat  and boots and headed outside. I went to the car, retrieved the sumac and berries and poked them in the snow. I set the berries in the feeders..  Then I waited,  I waited all day as  I sat and stood peering out the window and,  NOTHING! No harps, no moments of backyard birding wonder, not a single bluebird! And I sit here tonight and wonder why? I think tomorrow I'll go get a few more bluebird houses!  That ought to do it! And if not, I'm wondering, can you buy bluebirds online? Tomorrow......harps, maybe?

UPDATE!!!!

March 2, 2013

I was laying in bed sick, when the sounds of HARPS were playing in my backyard unbeknown to me.. My husband went out side and was standing in the backyard, when he saw the blue beauties going after suet in a homemade feeder I had made from a clementine box. He ran in the house and came running  upstairs to deliver the wonderful halleluiah news, and even though I felt like I was on my death bed, the news brought instant healing to my virus ridden body.. The harps played!!! I jumped out of bed and ran downstairs and perched my self in front of the window, and with in minutes, wisp of blue caught my eyes.. There they were.. My heart swelled, the harps played and heaven was brought down into my little small corner of NH.. All was right with my world.. Since that glorious March day, they have stayed and have been getting fat on meal-worms. A male and female have been scouting one old blue-bird box, my sister-in-law gave me years ago, that only some chipmunks I believe have used. They are in and out of it all day, but no nest is in it.. 
I think the other birds feel a bit slighted over my favoritism, but as they say, "it is what it is", sorry birdies, I still love them too, but, <sigh> I'm in love.. ♥